Being born in an orthodox Iyer family exposed me to classical music since my birth. Music has flourished in my family since unknown years. My great grandfather was an icon and an inspiration to many during his days. I have grown up seeing people waiting in our veranda to hear his voice. The town hall was never empty when he performed. That is respect the whole town carried for him. People always took pride in listening to “ Shri P. Subramanyam Iyer”.
There has been too much expectation from my family when I was born. Especially, when you are named after your great grandfather, people expect you to behave like him, perform like him and inculcate his qualities. I was always kept under pressure. You know the way I walk, talk, read, smile ..etc every detail and every minute of my life was under constant observation. The most annoying part was to wake up at 4.00 am to take shower in the cold chilled water and do sadhana (Practice). Reasons like these made me develop a strong dislike towards the music.
I was 20 when I cleared matriculation. I had the dream to visit big cities and travel all around. I have always explored new techniques and methods to move away from my town. Finally, the day has arrived which I have been looking for. I received a telegram saying that I have been selected as a Head clerk in Govt department based on the merit score. That was the happiest day of my life.
I was extremely excited to hear the great news. I distributed laddu’s to the entire town. Soon, the day has arrived, when I had to leave my town to join the Job. I packed my bag with four pairs of pure white cotton pants and half sleeves shirts. Two jars full of homemade snacks were given by mother. My ticket was ready for the 2 pm train. I rushed to the nearby Shiva temple to offer prayers. Soon, I realized that I was getting late and hurried to the railway station.
All the way on the Jutka, I was uncomfortable. I rechecked my bag to make sure that nothing is missed out. My ticket, certificates, clothes, money, snacks, mango pickle everything was in order. My mind was wandering like a lost object in the universe. It was moving in the infinite space to the unknown destination. When Jutka reached lane of railway station, I realized that I forgot the flute gifted by my grandfather on my 10th birthday.
I asked the Jutka driver to drive back to my home. I ran to the store room and opened the trunk box. Somewhere in between the old clothes I saw the glittering flute. All through the while, I thought I am detached to music but music is in blood and in every cell of my body.
That was the day I left my flute and I missed my train.